As I explored this a little deeper, it got me thinking - our society is so driven on the number-based outcome of so many situations rather than placing any focus or importance on who we are or how we're feeling whilst we're in the process of doing. So much focus gets placed on the end result, not the journey or the learnings that occurred along the way. We become drones of doing, factory workers lined up in the production line rather than choosing the way we want to feel or who we want to be in the process of "doing".
For me, this realisation came the other day when I was chatting with a friend and she asked me how many books I'd sold. I hung my head as I said "3". There and then I felt disappointed. Ego stepped in and overpowered the feelings and the journey I'd been on. I allowed ego to undermine my achievement. I was focussing on the number-driven result, the end of the production line.
While there at the sink this morning with my hands immersed in the warm soapy water, listening to the rain as it pelted down gently on the tin roof, I had a lightbulb moment - I didn't write the book for the purpose of selling millions of copies. I didn't set myself a set of KPI's to achieve or to show that my book writing was a success. My book didn't come off some production line. It came purely from my heart, my passion and my personal experience.
I wrote the book because I felt that I had a story to share, a story that may help others, a message that will resonate with a select few and not huge throngs of people and I'm cool with that. My intention for writing was to allow other mums who may be struggling to realise that they're not alone, that things do get better and to share this passion on paper.
Then I got to thinking about Danielle La Porte's "The Desire Map" (a book and program incredibly close to my heart and something that's flipped my achievement autopilot on its head). She talks about having goals with soul, about taking the time to actually think about how you want to feel. I reflected back to when I started writing, I wanted to feel connected, passionate and honest. They were my 3 things and I achieved those.
Am I where I want to be with the message I have to share? No, not yet. I've realised that Mojo for Mummas is a work in progress. There is so much more to this than me sharing my story. And as I mentioned last week, I have been out there running workshops, yes with intimate numbers. However I believe this is the best way to deliver my message for now. Mums are comfortable in small groups, heartfelt conversations are had, discussions are started and Mums get the opportunity to open up and share a piece of their story in a safe, judgement-free place. That's what makes my heart sing. That's what success and achievement are for me. There's an online program, there's a workbook on the way - there is so much more to come, the book has been the tip of the iceberg. The beginning.
Therefore the achievement of writing and publishing has been the starting point, without that I have no where to go. Who knows I may only ever sell 3 copies or there may be 3 million mums out there who resonate with my message, if I give into ego now, I will never know what I am capable of. I choose to continue the journey, coming from my heart, showing my vulnerability and most of all allowing the "real" me to show up.
* where in your life have you been on achievement autopilot recently?
* How are you feeling about that?
* What could you choose to focus on rather than the number-based outcome?
I'd love to see your comments. Have a sensational week!